Bring me the finest muffins and bagels in all the land. Toby : Mrs. Landingham, does the President have free time this morning? Landingham : The President has nothing but free time, Toby. Right now he's in the residence eating Cheerios and enjoying Regis and Kathie Lee.
Should I get him for you? Toby : Sarcasm's a disturbing thing coming from a woman of your age, Mrs. Landingham : What age would that be, Toby?
Our acapellas list
Toby Late twenties? Landingham: Atta boy. Toby : Can I have a cookie? Landingham : No. Landingham : Good morning, Sam. Sam : Good morning. Landingham : Have a cookie, Sam. Bartlet : I've got an intelligence briefing, a security briefing, and a minute budget meeting all scheduled for the same 45 minutes. You sure this is a good time to talk about my sense of humor?
Bartlet : Me neither.
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Bartlet : I know. Toby : We're talking about Texas, sir. Sam : It was big hats. Bartlet : It makes a difference. Josh : We got whomped in Texas twice. Bartlet : I think I was there. Bartlet : C. Bartlet : Twenty-seven lawyers in the room, anybody know 'post hoc, ergo propter hoc'?
Josh : Ah, post, after hoc, ergo, therefore After hoc, therefore something else hoc. Bartlet : Thank you. Leo : 'After it, therefore because of it'. Bartlet : 'After it, therefore because of it'. It means one thing follows the other, therefore it was caused by the other. But it's not always true. In fact it's hardly ever true.
We did not lose Texas because of the hat joke. Do you know when we lost Texas? Bartlet : Go figure. Bartlet : What is that? Morris : It's a flu shot. Bartlet : I don't need a flu shot. Morris : You do need a flu shot. Bartlet : How do I know this isn't the start of a military coup? Morris : Sir? Bartlet : I want the Secret Service in here right away.
Morris : In the event of a military coup, sir, what makes you think the Secret Service is gonna be on your side? Bartlet : Now that's a thought that's gonna fester.
Sam : About a week ago I accidentally slept with a prostitute. Toby : Really? Sam : Yes. Toby : You accidentally slept with a prostitute. Sam : Call girl. Toby : Accidentally.
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Toby : I don't understand. Did you trip over something? I'm not frightened. I'm going to blow them off the face of the earth with the fury of God's own thunder. A Proportional Response [ edit ] Josh : A couple of things for you to bear in mind. First of all, he didn't know she was a call girl when he slept with her. He did not pay her money. He didn't participate in, have knowledge of, or witness anything illegal. Or for that matter, unethical, immoral, or suspect.
A couple things for you to bear in mind.
None of that matters on Hard Copy! Josh : You're overreacting.
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Josh : Yes. Josh : That's not what I meant. Josh : You know what, C. Well, I've got a staff meeting to go to and so do you, you elitist Harvard fascist missed-the-dean's-list-two-semesters-in-a-row Yankee jackass! Josh : Feel better getting that off your chest there, C. Josh : You look like a million bucks, by the way.
Sam : [reading a newspaper article, quoting a congressman] "Folks down here are patriotic, fiercely patriotic. The President better not be planning on making any visits to this base.
If he does, he may not get out alive.
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